Sheila R. Lamb
Resistance vs. Fear
“Letting go of inner resistance, you often find circumstances change for the better.” – Eckhart Tolle
via Eckhart Tolle Present Moment Reminders
Letting go of inner resistance changes our circumstances for the better? Doesn’t that really mean “giving in?” If we are resisting something, doesn’t that mean there is a reason for the resistance?
Yes and no. We do need to look at the things we resist. It may mean we need to change our situation, be it a relationship, a job, a lifestyle. The key is recognizing a red flag, a need for change, versus our mind continually going in circles.
Situations where there is abuse involved, verbal, emotional, or physical, require change. Immediate change. It’s important to differentiate between Resistance and Fear. Sometimes we cannot leave those situations immediately due to fear, whether our own or an outside actual threat. That fear is a red flag, our intuition telling us it is not safe.
Fear means your stomach drops. Fear means your hands shake. Fear means you walk on eggshells. Fear is not being yourself, not expressing your thoughts, because of bad consequences.
If you’re not sure which category your situation is, particularly in relationships, take a look at some of these traits.
In those cases, help it needed. A plan is needed. Action is needed. See the sidebar here for resources. Make a Safety Plan.
Creating a plan and taking action will get the mind off of that circular track. Knowing that a bad situation is short term and that you are willing to change it, forwards our thoughts into a new direction. A plan allows us to let go of the repetitiveness and move in a new direction.
Resistance is your mind constantly running. Resistance is looking into something new, but then not doing anything about it.Sometimes our mind just spins. If our life is basically all right, if we are not in a precarious situation, it’s time to sort out the spin from reality.
Our minds crave drama. The ego craves drama. It wants to be the center of attention. So it will create drama when a situation is really okay – okay in the sense of, you’re not in danger. Maybe you are unhappy with your job. All right. Make a plan. Apply for new jobs. Take new classes or training. But if that doesn’t work for you, if you never take those steps, consider why. Is the ego just looking for some attention?
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it…” (A New Earth).
In these situations, it’s time to drop the resistance. Accept where things are at the present moment. Decide whether to take action or not. And then, accept again where you are. Slowly, the resistance will fade away.
Letting go of inner resistance, you often find circumstances change for the better